Do we feel that judgment, negative talk, and anger are a big part of our day or of us? Looking at how we are feeling and being honest with ourselves gives us the opportunity to know how to adapt and progress from now on.
- Negative speeches -
The more we speak negatively about ourselves or about others, the more we devalue ourselves. Instead of consolidating these weaknesses with our negative remarks, let's write them down, correct them, and get rid of them.
- Bad habits -
Taking care of and revitalizing our receptacle is one of the most important things we can do to stay healthy physically, emotionally, and mentally. Either way, let's pick one of our worst habits and try to break it completely in three months. Then we will tackle the next bad habit, then the next and so on.
- Truncated definitions -
Often, we set goals/projects, having an altered image of success. So without realizing it, we introduce stress, worry, and fear into our equation. It would be more beneficial for us to take the necessary measures to move towards our goals, remembering that mistakes are lessons and steps, and not failures!
- Illusions -
We have ideas about what our passions are, but frequently we think that we cannot fulfil them or that they are just fantasies. Instead of convincing ourselves of this, let's first make sure that these are our dreams/passions (and not those of our loved ones, society or our friends), then let's do a step towards committing to it.
- The escape -
« Turning the page », « Moving forward », « Leave our problems behind », it all sounds like a sweet chant. But by turning a blind eye to our problems, we are not learning anything and taking the risk that they will explode in our face sooner or later. Let us express our problems in a journal, speaking with a trusted person and/or a psychiatrist. By playing our cards on the table, we will be able to overcome what is blocking us.
- Let's stop comparing ourselves to others -
A lot of times, we look at other people and make movies in our head. This little game is bad for our mental health. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and learn to respect our path and who we are.
- The judgement -
Judging others or ourselves can become a habit, even an addiction for some. Let’s take a moment, before making a judgment, and ask ourselves why we are doing this. This conscious effort to put an end to this habit allows us to perceive our responsibility in the course of events. I'm not saying everyone is nice, I'm just saying we have to take responsibility for what we feel, face and seek to dodge.
- Conformism -
Too often we want to fit in or be accepted by others. As long as this masquerade is maintained in time, we will feel bad in our skin. It is not « natural » to not be genuine. So let’s be sincere and not trying to transform others into what we would like them to be nor let others transform us.
- Abandonment -
We don't have all the answers and we don't have all the variables. And while observing a situation and making the best possible choices are important, we must learn to make the right choices. But let’s be careful, this doesn't mean to be reckless or even daring, just that we don't need to control/monitor everything.
- Journey into the present -
Easier said than done, however, we can opt for daily mindfulness-based meditation to encourage transformation of our feelings, sensations, and experiences. This self-focusing process can be through affirmation or through a particular object that we touch (a positive association). Over time, this exercise will train our brains to become anchored in the present and help us identify gaps to be corrected or simply to confirm that this is indeed existing.
- Just like before -
Sometimes we want things to go back the way they were. We find it difficult to perceive ourselves happy/satisfied in the future, as we are more tempted to live in our memories. But we have to move forward (time does not give us a choice), we have to set concrete goals and find a way to achieve them. At the same time, we can create a visual board of our future, with pictures, inspirational quotes and even drawings.
- Mourning -
It is difficult to move forward with luggage taking ballast. Therefore, we need to find balance, without drowning in the shadow of our past. Our mind periodically returns to the past and we have to learn how to deal with this unhealthy invasion and we cannot do this alone, we have to find reliable sources of support that will help us through the process. For these purposes, let's take a look at the different styles of therapy and what they can offer us (it is common to try several therapists before making a decision and finding the right person for us).
Beside that, we can write a letter (which we will never send), which will make us feel like we are talking to the person causing our trouble or resentment and thus dispel those emotions from our system. Another technique, against overwhelming ideas, is to take a quick inventory, in our mind or on paper, of five to ten things that are currently making us happy/smiling. This will allow us to reconnect with what we love and appreciate, diverting our mind from ruminations.
- The flow -
Throughout the day, we are bombarded with subjects, reflections, inundated with words and images to process, and forced to reconcile complexities. The human body, the brain has a limit, and when we cross it, we pay the price (it's like being trapped at rush hour all our life).
« Being weary » means being exhausted from continuous, long-term exertion, often accompanied by a feeling of dismay or even depression. Basically our reservoir is at its lowest, due to cognitive aspects of our life, such as planning, analysing, focusing, reflecting, worrying, rehashing situations or conversations (in order to understand them or make sense of them ). When our energy is this low, we are more likely to make mistakes and as our mind ruminates the negative emotional load continues to increase : hassle, problems and conflicts (over and over again).
Our mind needs to stop this process in order to refuel and repair itself. Therefore, whenever we are faced with this, let us move away from these attacks of our mental trafficking (it is an act of freedom, wisdom and kindness to ourselves and to others). After disconnecting, when we return to this tumultuous flow, we will have much clearer, happy, and effective thoughts.
- The pardon -
Forgiveness is crucial, we need to extend it to those who have wronged us, accepting the reasons that caused them to behave this way. We don't need to let these people (come back) in our life, but holding on anger is toxic.
Most importantly, we must forgive ourselves, for the painful events in our life. We probably have a responsibility to take on, but that doesn't mean we're a bad person or deserve to punish/torture ourselves. We need to be more forgiving and to not judge ourselves drastically, this is the key to trusting ourselves.
We are saturated with negative emotions such as anger, biased by our views that influenced by everything that orbits around us (direct or indirect). Causing habits that prevent us from achieving our goals and living our life the best we can. They endanger our mental and physical health, while consuming our time and energy.
The solution, often difficult, is to be open to our feelings, to look at the truth straight in the eyes and take action… without letting ourselves be swallowed up or bamboozled.
What do you think?