Let's face it, we will be made fun of. We will feel insecure. We won't always be the best. We will occasionally feel alone, but we are also and above all the only ones who can change our life.
- Little galactic guide -
In this guide, let's specifically list our goals for the coming year. So, let's not just write « Changing my life », instead we should write something along the lines of « Meeting someone who treats me with respect and love » or « Have a fun/rewarding activity every week ».
Then and still in writing, let’s dissect them into measures to be taken to make them concrete. These actions don't have to be extraordinary or bold, they just need to get us to where we are, gradually. Every step/decision no matter how small it may seem is a courageous step/decision, for many are willing to change, but few are busy doing it.
Concretely, we can perform one to five actions every day, in this way, whether it's groping or giant leaps, we will get closer to our target. And let's not lose sight of these actions.
- Mission report -
For that, let's think about our most recent and/or most heart-breaking failures. Let's take one and analyse everything that went well, when it did. Let's write about how we operated, how it affected our life and relationships. It is necessary to identify what we thought and felt, throughout the preparation and during the execution phase that led us to this failure, as they have an impact on our state of mind, and it is there that most people give up.
Now let's make a list of things we can fix (let's be totally honest). Let's study them and plan another attempt as soon as possible. If the failure happened a long time ago, let's make this report anyway, because the information that emerges is likely to be usable for future goals.
And if we fail again, so be it. Let's repeat these steps and keep fighting, in the direction of our goals (Madness and Genius are almost identical sisters).
- Time is relative -
Calendars, agenda and apps are very useful tools for organizing our time, but they are still simple tools to use. Our brain, on the other hand, determines our reactions and responses (verbal, mental or physical) to every situation and/or person we encounter. It is therefore important not to put ourselves on automatic pilot. We must remain conscious, voluntary and deliberate in our decisions, both in the management of our time, and in our mode of execution.
In order to stay focused on what we want to accomplish, we need to understand our priorities. We think we know them, but until we put them down (in writing), somewhere where we can see them on a daily basis, they won't take root in our minds. And until they take hold, they will tend to escape us or be forgotten.
Whether we are looking to (re)get in shape, or dream of starting our own business, or even wanting to learn a language or an instrument. Let's analyse our schedule and maximize it… meaning, let's list our priority tasks every quarter hour, half hour or hour of the day. We need to be precise with our targets, to avoid losing our way and to help our brains make the right decisions. So the next time someone asks us to do something or we are invited, we can make a choice based on the priorities that we have set.
Sadly, our society expects us to be multitasking, but that is purely counterproductive. This is why, when we work, we should choose to focus fully on one thing at a time. Let's give each task a time to devote to it. Also, let's not get frustrated and dejected by what's left on our endless « to do » list or bogus deficits. Let's incorporate what we have already done, avoiding reductive or negative formulations such as « I only did » or « The little I have done so far... », then, let's conquer our victories!
Above all, let's not skimp on our efforts without sacrificing our sleep. Just as we plan our work, we need to schedule our rest. This means : no emails, no social networks, no surfing the web... but body and mind rest.
- The key is in visualization -
Visualization is an exercise in recognition : we need to see as clearly as possible what we are about to do, highlighting each obstacle. Let's not do this only for the big stages of our life, let's also apply this process for small tasks of our daily life both private and professional. Let's stick to this process and soon what we thought was impossible will be more to hand.
Rather than let ourselves be consumed by things, we have to put them in perspective. Visualizing ourselves overcoming them or reaching our goal. Then, hold on to what we felt during the visualization, for that feeling will give us wings as we cross the obstacle, take on the task, or reach our goal.
But visualization isn't just about dreaming, we need to see potential pitfalls and figure out how we're going to deal with them when they arise. We cannot anticipate every eventuality, but whatever we anticipate in the visualization will prepare us as much as possible.
It also means being prepared to answer certain questions, such as « Why are we doing this? », « Why do we want this? ». We will need to channel these answers, to nourish us, so that doubt, cannot nail us in place.
WARNING : visualization will never compensate for work not done. And victory does not mean that we have reached the first place. We must realize that through our work we overcome a permanent fear or any other obstacle that has made us give up in the past.
Change takes hard work. It involves taking responsibility for our life, without delay. As exhausting, terrifying and frustrating as it can be, we have to face our fears, our griefs and our illusions. We may need to let go of what is familiar and comforting in order to allow us to move closer to our true goals.
What do you think?