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On social media, in the news, or even in everyday conversations, high sensitivity gets thrown around in all kinds of ways. Sometimes portrayed as a burden, sometimes as a misunderstood superpower. But too often, it’s confused with drama, attention-seeking, or the inability to handle the slightest frustration…

- Feeling differently -

High sensitivity isn’t a disease, nor is it a diagnosis. You won’t find it in any official psychiatry manual. And yet, it exists. The term was popularized in the 1990s by American psychologist Elaine Aron, who identified what she called HSPs — Highly Sensitive Persons. According to her research, about 15 to 20% of the population is affected. So no, it’s not a fringe oddity, but rather a variation of human functioning.

In practice, a highly sensitive person experiences things more intensely. Not just emotions, but also sensory stimuli : a loud noise, harsh lighting, a persistent smell… everything hits harder. On top of that comes emotional permeability — the moods of others, the atmosphere of a room, unspoken tensions are all picked up like a radar that’s always on. The result? A daily life that can be exhausting, constantly filtering, adapting, protecting oneself.

In a world that values speed, productivity, emotional detachment, and the ability to tough things out, highly sensitive people are often seen as too fragile or too complicated. But it’s not weakness. It’s a more reactive nervous system. It’s not a choice, not a stance. It’s a fact. And it has real consequences : difficulty pretending, a tendency to over-anticipate, an anxious approach to the future.

Faced with this, there are two main pitfalls:

Glorification : The idea that high sensitivity is a gift, a superior trait. That it grants access to a purer, truer form of humanity. This narrative, as seductive as it may be, is dangerous : it denies the real suffering that can come with it and feeds an elitist or defensive posture.

Self-victimization : Defining oneself solely by one’s wounds. Hiding behind the label to justify every reaction. Refusing self-reflection in the name of sensitivity. This too is a trap. It locks us into a fixed character who expects forgiveness for everything, simply because one feels too much.

- Emotional reactivity –

One of the biggest misconceptions about high sensitivity is thinking it just means being more emotional. In reality, it’s often much more complex — and counterintuitive.

Yes, a highly sensitive person might be overwhelmed by the slightest criticism, cry at a bland movie, or feel someone else’s anger like a slap. But conversely, under intense stress, one might... feel nothing at all. That’s ‘emotional freeze’. A form of temporary dissociation where the brain, overloaded with internal signals, shuts everything down to avoid exploding.

This ‘shutdown’ isn’t avoidance. It’s a survival strategy. When there aren’t enough resources to process emotion, the body goes into standby mode : emotions are numbed, the gaze turns blank, gestures become mechanical. From the outside, it might look like someone cold, detached, even indifferent. But inside? It’s a storm — with the volume muted.

This back-and-forth between emotional overload and numbness is often misunderstood — even by highly sensitive people themselves. They blame themselves for overreacting, then for not reacting at all. They doubt themselves, feel unstable, exaggerated, even fake (as if playing a role they didn’t choose). But it’s not drama, and it’s not weakness. It’s an imperfect — but vital — system of self-regulation.

- The game play –

So, we need to learn how to live with it :

To recognize the signs and states, so we don’t just endure them without understanding.

To spot the warning lights.

To give ourselves permission to slow down before we hit saturation.

To accept that we need more silence, more meaning, more calm.

To set clear boundaries — with others and ourselves.

To say no to what drains us, even if it’s socially expected.

To stop constantly adapting, especially when it comes at the cost of our well-being.

To stop thinking we should feel ‘normally’. Because emotional normality doesn’t exist. There are highs, lows, lulls, and sometimes silent storms.

And in the process, we develop what’s best in us : fine-tuned listening, powerful intuition, an ability to perceive subtleties where others only see black and white, empathy that we can respect without letting it crush us, and a capacity to hear our anger (what is it trying to say?).

But — and this matters — without turning ourselves into exceptions. Without expecting the world to walk on eggshells for us. Without running away from discomfort just because we’re different. Being highly sensitive is not an excuse to do nothing with ourselves. It’s a challenge. A starting point. Not a sentence.

- The hidden side –

Many highly sensitive people actually become masters of control. They internalize, mask, rationalize. They pick their battles carefully, and carry the weight. Sometimes to the point of burnout — not because their threshold is lower, but because it’s constantly pushed.

And the worst part? They’re the ones we don’t see. Because they hold it together. Until they break — silently again. And sometimes, that silence disguised as strength leads to burnout, depression, or an emotional outburst no one understands.

- Common misconceptions –

High sensitivity is often confused with uncontrolled emotionality. As if being highly sensitive meant crying all the time, avoiding confrontation, being unable to handle any harsh image, or gasping for air during a conflict. In short, it’s wrongly equated with a kind of syrupy fragility : an inability to deal with tension, constant need for coddling, rejection of anything too raw or intense. But this cliché falls apart under scrutiny.

You can be highly sensitive and drawn to ‘harsh’ worlds : martial arts, psychological thrillers, heated debates. Because high sensitivity doesn’t mean rejecting intensity. It means responding more strongly to it — whether positively or negatively. Some sensitive people even find confrontation — physical, verbal, symbolic — to be regulating. Seeing emotions channelled into action, strategy, or self-transcendence can be deeply soothing. Even necessary.

<>On the flip side, those often labelled as ‘drama queens’ or ‘snowflakes’ — who perform every emotion or expect the world to adapt to their meltdowns — aren’t necessarily highly sensitive. They’re more often seeking validation or attention. Authentic high sensitivity is usually quiet. It happens on the inside, without theatrics. It’s not flashy — but it is intense.

Conclusions

The world isn’t made for highly sensitive people — that’s true. But it isn’t made for extroverts either, or introverts, or outliers, or logical minds, or dreamers. The world isn’t made for anyone. It just is. It’s up to us to find our way of living in it.

High sensitivity isn’t too much. It’s just different. It’s not a tantrum. Not a show. It’s a way of functioning. And it deserves understanding, not ridicule.

What do you think?