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We have worked a lot on ourselves, having changed our habits or taking development courses, and those around us are not encouraging or eager to grow with us. And suddenly, this long road seems like nothing but disappointment. Let’s not let our efforts evaporate...
- Understanding what's happening -
We cannot grow up alone, we need others. Even our biological, morphological constitution goes in this direction. This is why the lack of support, intentional or not (visible or invisible), triggers in us a feeling of loneliness or suffering. Especially since we equate it with proof of lack of love which slowly undermines our mind and therefore hinders our development.
- Not trying to change them -
Even though we are right in thinking that those around us should embark on the path of personal development, we must understand that we cannot put pressure on them.
- Showing the way -
We are not there to prove anything to others, but no matter what we do or wish to do, we will be in the eyes of others, so we might as well show them the results of our development. So if we can't change them, we can influence them.
If we use more words than we need to carry out our actions, we are wasting our time convincing those around us. On the other hand, through our actions, they may be able to understand that they would have everything to gain from developing as well.
The more they understand what we are doing, the less intimidated they will be. For this reason, we should introduce our world step by step, sharing the tools we have learned and showing how these tools make a difference for us or expressing the things that scare us. We can also do this by leaving our books out for everyone to see.
Without being inauthentic, we can encourage them. Once they realize that we are genuinely happy, they will be more willing to take the steps out of their own comfort zone.
- Putting ourselves in their shoes -
We don't need to agree with them. So if we are feeling annoyed, angry, or frustrated, empathize with learning to understand their pain, their frustrations, their world. Some people are simply not mature enough, or they are just too afraid to dig below the surface.
- Distancing -
Criticism is easy these days and it’s with little restraint some people poison us with their words or drag us down so they could feel better. If it’s difficult for us to limit our interactions with these people, we can limit the impact of what they say, by cutting ourselves off and/or away from them.
Before breaking up a relationship, we can try to decrease the sound : Behind this practice, we can decide the importance of what a speaker says and eliminate the words that we don't want to hear. We will have to train our minds and be careful not to play the ostrich when someone brings up a sensitive subject.
Unfortunately, if this practice is not enough, we will have to find the strength to break the bond that binds us to these people. The closer we felt that person was, the more painful this breakup will be, but let's heal our wounds and move on.
Conclusions
When the people we love do not support us in our development, we must persevere by and for ourselves… Because after all, the key word in « personal development » is : PERSONAL!
What do you think?