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All too often we make promises lightly, because we make them without thinking or simply to reassure the other person. However, this nonchalant attitude can have real repercussions...

- A promise is a promise -

Some people think that breaking « a big promise » is inexcusable, while breaking « a small promise » is acceptable. This view is wrong, because when we break « a big promise » like paying back a loan can damage our material comfort, breaking « a small promise » like being on time throws a wrench into our relationships and the trust that others have in us.

Over time and as a result of our shared experiences, while our behaviour is consistent, trust and respect from others builds up in our relationships (whether personal or professional). When promises are broken or people are misled, the foundations of trust are undermined.

Broken promises imply that either we did not think before we promised or that we do not care about the needs of the person to whom we made the promise. We will agree that this is mean-spirited.

- Promising the moon -

If we don’t know whether a promise can be kept, we should not make it. We must learn not to make promises in the wind, but rather communicate information and conditions we are certain of :

We may not be able to guarantee a 5% return on investment, but we can show you our transaction history and promise that we will work hard ;

We cannot guarantee that we will be there in 2 hours, but we can say that we will arrive between 10:00 and 11:00 ;

We can't promise that the weather will be nice, but we can promise that we have an umbrella if it rains ;

Etc.

When we make a promise without being sure of the outcome, we twist the truth, distort the facts and weaken our credibility.

- Extenuating circumstances -

Breaking a promise intentionally is a no-win situation and we will have to bear the consequences.

However, if we can keep our promise but an uncontrollable event (illness, death of a loved one, ...) occurs, most people will understand that this is a case of force majeure (not intentional).

- Half-truths are half-lies -

Some exaggerate or amplify a truth to make it more attractive, others « twist the truth » by presenting selected facts that support their position. In all cases, the intention is clearly to deceive, since we choose to hide facts... therefore, we lie.

Often dishonest people lie because they don't have the right arguments or because they have something to hide. When they are caught, suspicion is aroused in others and motivations will be questioned with demands for proof that will surface. In short, after laying, anything said from that point on will have no value, no credibility and will seem suspicious.

To cover up for others is to be just as guilty as the person who committed the « crime » (it is complicity). Let’s consider whether it is worth putting our reputation on the line for someone who harms it.

- In the workplace -

There is a lot of talk about talent management and identifying high potentials : some large companies have understood the importance of the cost of recruitment and replacement, and many HR departments have implemented tools to build loyalty and motivation. But these tools are only effective if they are applied and if the commitments (promises) are real. Unfortunately, this is not the case in all organisations.

At the time of hiring, the candidate must put forward his/her useful assets for the employer and the recruiter must promote the attractiveness of the company. This is the crucial moment when a tacit negotiation takes place that goes beyond any contractual clause. It is at this precise moment that we can speak of the implementation of a psychological contract.

Sometimes the commitments made to employees are not always kept. These commitments are made by management, HR departments or managers. But what could happen in an organisation if all the employees, faced with too many broken promises, jumped ship to see if the grass is greener elsewhere? No more employees, no more problems... but no more company!

In concrete terms, the termination of an employment contract is the result of the will of one of the parties (resignation or dismissal) or of a mutual will (conventional termination), whereas the breach of a psychological contract (under a conjunctural pretext) contributes to a loss of confidence, motivation and involvement.

Conclusions

« Giving our word » has a special meaning : our word is our reputation. Every time we promise something, we put our reputation on the line. Personal integrity is both expected and valued. Whether we understand it or not, breaking a promise is the same as lying.

What do you think?