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It would seem that we should base ourselves on motivation, so that the events of our personal and professional lives stop haunting us and affecting those close to us. This same motivation is often exploited by psychologists, sociologists and scientists, both to praise it and to denigrate it...
- Perceptions -
There are two types of motivation :
Intrinsic motivation : this is the incentive to engage in a specific activity that stems from the pleasure of the activity itself = « I'm going to work hard, because I feel fulfilled at work ».
Extrinsic motivation : this is an external invitation to engage in a specific activity in the expectation of a benefit = « I want to get that promotion to earn more money ».
Our tendency to gravitate towards one or the other depends on the situations we encounter. And it's in line with this that if we answer « Yes » to the following questions, we tend to bring work home with us :
Do we check our emails shortly after waking up?
Do we easily lose track of time when we're working?
Do we skip or shorten lunchtime to get more work done?
Do we often work overtime without being asked to?
Do we check our e-mails before going to bed?
Is our mind often occupied with our tasks when we go to bed?
Do we feel guilty when we take time out for ourselves or our loved ones?
Note that it is occasionally acceptable to answer these questions in the affirmative. It's only a problem when it's ingrained in our habits, like a reflex or an almost constant redundancy. It's all the more severe if we justify it with pre-formatted excuses :
More work equals more results : The brain tires just like any other organ, therefore the quality of the work produced diminishes as the day goes on. The idea of working overtime or at weekends leads to exhaustion. All employers like their employees to do more than they are asked to, but not at the expense of their physical and mental health.
The future will be better : We often postpone moments and activities of pleasure or rest, hoping for a better future, but this can quickly become ephemeral. Life won't allow us to make up for these moments. Just as we don't know what tomorrow will bring : illness and death can strike at any time.
Setting limits in our professional lives in order to preserve our private lives, and doing the same with our private lives in order to frame our professional lives, is essential for our physical and mental balance, and therefore for our motivation.
- The fracture -
Work takes up a large part of our time, and that's normal, but without appropriate limits, we miss out on all the other key aspects of our lives : spending time with our loved ones, making progress on our projects, exercising and taking care of ourselves.
We may then feel a certain amount of guilt, which is an illusion resulting from the obligations we impose on ourselves, but which are not particularly real. By learning to detach ourselves emotionally from the work, we can anchor ourselves in the present, without feeling guilty. This is just as important as letting our exhausted muscles rest after a sports session. Our brains don't immediately give us the signals that they're aching, and there will always be something to do, to solve or repair. So let's learn to breathe and rest.
- Liberation -
Our working lives have programmed us to push us towards overwork, without us realising it. But it's not too late to correct this trajectory and learn to disconnect from overload :
Movement : Exercise is an excellent way of exorcising ourselves from our work, our tensions and our negative thoughts. It's not necessary to run for miles, just standing up and stretching our legs while breathing deeply can already make a remarkable difference, as this simple action will increase blood flow and provide the oxygen our brain needs.
Delimiting spaces : Our mind associates physical spaces with our activities, which is how it determines spatial boundaries. When we work sitting at our desk all day, our brain creates the « office is for working » zone. The same goes for our leisure activities, with a « play zone », or our physical exercise in a « sports zone ».
Combat gear : As with spaces, our mind makes the connection between our different physical activities and the clothes we wear. We can use this subterfuge, by defining our work, sports or home comfort outfits, to anchor ourselves in our activities.
Subdivisions : Let's have a clear vision of what we want to do. Let's start by taking stock of the resources we'll need and identifying what we need from each of them. Once we've studied the area in sufficient depth, we'll have a better understanding of the steps we need to take and we'll be able to work out how on breaking them down into small, sure steps towards our goals.
Defining our schedules : It will be easier to find our way around if we set ourselves a timetable. Let's start with our working hours, based on our work contracts : work from 8am-12pm, lunch from 12pm-1pm and return to work from 1pm-5pm. This means that if we decide to read our e-mails at 4.50pm, it's certain that we won't finish at 5pm. Next, let's find the time to devote exclusively to outings, exercise and leisure. Occasionally, we'll be asked to work overtime and this will disrupt our programme, but that doesn't mean we can't set a limit on how often we do this. For everyday things, the Pomodoro technique can help. It's a time management system that divides time into 25-minute chunks separated by 5/10-minute breaks. Each interval helps us to resist interruptions and trains our brain to concentrate.
Keeping disruptive elements away : Whatever digital technology smartphone, tablet or laptop technology keeps us connected and in touch, everywhere and all the time, we have to resign ourselves to not giving in to this temptation. And as utopian as it may sound, sometimes all we need to do to avoid the invasion of our work into our personal lives (and vice-versa) is to spell out our limits.
Dissociation : In the course of a day, so many stressful or disruptive events can take place and they overwhelm our brains with anxiety and make it difficult to disconnect from work. We have to learn that what happens at work has to stay at work and doesn't have to follow us into our private lives. Most of these events are just noise, and should have no impact on us, our goals or our personal lives. Let's have confidence in ourselves and our abilities, get to know ourselves and stop doubting ourselves.
Free time : Countless things go through our minds without us being aware of it, and ideas often arise when we least expect them. They blossom in the shower or while we're out for a walk. We can't control this phenomenon, but we can trigger it by taking time out. Even more, the best way to reduce the flow of the voices of our guilt and anxiety is to occupy our minds with activities that require a certain level of concentration : hiking, swimming, fishing or any other outdoor activity ; playing video games or reading a book we're passionate about, and so on.
Compensation : Rewards help us to stay motivated. Once we've set a goal, let's do the same with a healthy repayment that we can offer ourselves when the result is achieved. Whether it's a massage, a trip or a whole day to ourselves, rewards can help us stay on course to achieve our goals, because they reload our batteries and give us the good things we need.
Sleeping : Getting enough sleep is crucial. When we don't get enough sleep, negative ideas can easily cling to our brains like starfish to rocks, making it harder to deal with the stress that comes with them. Let's install black-out curtains/blinds, sleep at the same time every night and keep the bedroom temperature between 15.6° and 19.4° degrees Celsius (60° and 67° degrees Fahrenheit).
Support : Finding someone in the field in which we want to develop or get involved will give us a double advantage, in that they can help and encourage us on our way to success and save us from hitting dead ends. We can also simply find someone who shares our enthusiasm and wants to help us on the path we've chosen. By focusing together on the same journey and results, we can share ideas we may not have thought of and understand each other's point of view. And finally, there's always the option of a life coach, which may make some people smile, but can also be an effective solution.
Each of these tips can help us to develop and maintain our motivation on an almost daily basis. Let's find the ones that work for us and make them habits. We'll soon find that we can do without external stimuli and motivators, because we'll be internally programmed to stay true to ourselves and our projects.
Conclusions
Although work takes up a major part of our time, it's not the only thing, and it certainly mustn't become asphyxiating : a sane surrounding, mental well-being and psychological health are the real pillars of a full life.
By learning to disconnect from work when we're not at it, we can enjoy all aspects of our lives and draw the energy and motivation we need from them. It's up to us to take steps to start living a better life, allowing us to feel more fulfilled in our personal lives and more at peace in our professional lives.
What do you think?
